Meditation Post

What does meditation look like to me?

Well, it used to be do these breathing exercises and stress squeezes I learned on my mission.

Sometimes it was cleaning my apartment before bed.

Lately, it has been preparing for the next day: meal prep and journal/planner writing.

Tonight, it’s listening to a talk from General Conference, meal prepping, calendar updating, video watching and blog posting.

Just finding things to relax before bed. Finding ways to clear my mind and most importantly center myself back to the Savior and the Spirit.

This is day one.

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Weekend with the Kid

Tonight, I told my son it was bedtime and he got super happy.

I picked him up and took him to the room to change his diaper and put on lotion. As I started to comb his hair, he said, “ow.” He says it every time I comb his hair now. Not because it hurts but because somehow he learned it might make us stop. But he has really pretty hair and I try to keep it that way.

The pillow weren’t in the room so I told him to get the pillows and I’d grab a bottle. He didn’t quite understand at first so we walked out to the living room and I pointed at the pillows. He giggled and said, “pillows.” He picked them up and as I poured him some milk he dragged them back to the room. I followed him as he dragged the last pillow in and threw it on the bed. I then rearranged them and helped lift him into bed.

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Remember We Die

Remember We Die by Gemini Syndrome

Music is important in my life.

As a teenager, I used music to reach out and get help. As an adult, I’ve relied on music to keep me going. So it was really difficult when I joined the Mormon church and was faced with trying to find a balance between something that had, quite literally kept me alive, and a culture that was asking me to give up certain types of music.

At first, I felt strongly that I needed to really look at my relationship with music and recognize that certain things really worked to only bring me down. But like a good convert I decided it was best to literally destroy my music collection and try to do with out.

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Somethings Just Not Right

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I had promised this post about a month ago… sorry for the delay.

I’ve had this one on my mind for a few weeks now. It’s one of the three I’ve had on repeat  this summer. This image came up in my memories today and after some quick editing I had just an image of me.

This is me, more happy and comfortable then I’d been in years. At the time, my life seemed to be headed somewhere amazing. It would ultimately be a two-year disaster that left me with almost nothing. 

I guess it’s been a week of serious reflection and I really would love to be this person again.

I wrote the above text back in July.

Continue reading “Somethings Just Not Right”

Update: State of My Head

I’ve been pretty open about my experience with depression.

Since mid-July, I’ve stepped away from writing for a bit to focus on the mess that is my life. For whatever reason, I thought there were to many distractions and I was afraid things were getting out of control.

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Hope for Humanity: The Mailroom

I run an online shop through Etsy. I paint wooden decor for fun and on occasion, I use a local business to ship my items instead of going to the Post Office.

It isn’t convenient. In fact, it takes twice as long unless I am already on that side of town, which is rare. So, why do I go there?

Today, when I walked in, there wasn’t anyone standing behind the desk. Normally, service there is quite quick and so while surprised, I didn’t mind waiting. When the employee did appear, he was very kind and engaging.

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QOTD: Being Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable

“You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

– Roy T Bennett

I had a talk recently with my bishop.

In the course of our conversation, I explained how I had been holding back on some ideas for new designs for my Etsy shop because I was worried about producing religious designs. It has been a back and forth battle because while I get ideas for these designs all the time, I worry about seeming like I produce only religious things.

Not that I am ashamed of my religion, when I am doing my best, my religion is a very big part of my life, I just worry that it will overshadow some of the other things I do and sort of act like a restriction. Continue reading “QOTD: Being Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable”