Quiet Thoughts: Dating

The idea of dating again has been at the front of my mind lately.

I don’t plan on actually dating any time soon, mainly because I am still married. We haven’t actually filed divorce papers and I am not sure when that will actually happen.

It has nothing to do with anything other then the fact that financially I am kinda in a place where it’s either have money for food and bills or for non-essential things like court fees. We can discuss this later, maybe.

Either way, I know I am not ready to date.

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Weekend with the Kid

Tonight, I told my son it was bedtime and he got super happy.

I picked him up and took him to the room to change his diaper and put on lotion. As I started to comb his hair, he said, “ow.” He says it every time I comb his hair now. Not because it hurts but because somehow he learned it might make us stop. But he has really pretty hair and I try to keep it that way.

The pillow weren’t in the room so I told him to get the pillows and I’d grab a bottle. He didn’t quite understand at first so we walked out to the living room and I pointed at the pillows. He giggled and said, “pillows.” He picked them up and as I poured him some milk he dragged them back to the room. I followed him as he dragged the last pillow in and threw it on the bed. I then rearranged them and helped lift him into bed.

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Remember We Die

Remember We Die by Gemini Syndrome

Music is important in my life.

As a teenager, I used music to reach out and get help. As an adult, I’ve relied on music to keep me going. So it was really difficult when I joined the Mormon church and was faced with trying to find a balance between something that had, quite literally kept me alive, and a culture that was asking me to give up certain types of music.

At first, I felt strongly that I needed to really look at my relationship with music and recognize that certain things really worked to only bring me down. But like a good convert I decided it was best to literally destroy my music collection and try to do with out.

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Music inspires unrelated thoughts

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Song lyrics by A Perfect Circle

I’ve shared a bit about the day my former spouse kicked me out.

But I’d like to revisit that day for second.

That morning was like any other we’d had at the time. Tension and distrust was in the air.

I had been contemplating our move to Idaho. I was supposed to attend BYU-Idaho and that meant moving together despite the fact that we couldn’t stand even being in the same room as each other.

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Update: State of My Head

I’ve been pretty open about my experience with depression.

Since mid-July, I’ve stepped away from writing for a bit to focus on the mess that is my life. For whatever reason, I thought there were to many distractions and I was afraid things were getting out of control.

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POTD: Yellow

I’ve really enjoyed working with this new batch of photographs.

I felt confident when taking these photos and it changed so much about what I was trying to capture. It wasn’t so much the subject, but how I presented the subject. As I took each shot, in my head I could see the final edit and so I focused more on making sure I had everything set to produce the image that was in my head and not so much what I was actually seeing.

That is what is so fun about really getting into your own creativity. With any art that we present to people, we are presenting our interpretation of a certain subject, however, most of the time the viewer is still going to take away from it, what they think it is.

It can be a little frustrating at first, and I remember when I first got into photography how hard it was to deal with not being able to get my ideas across.

As a creator, you get to a point though, where you are no longer creating for others, but for yourself. Ultimately, this is where you want to be. Like anything in life, to really enjoy it, you have to love it and it’s a process.

This time around, yes when I started to pick up photography again, I was doing it for myself, putting anything and everything out there. Then as I noticed certain things getting attention, I tried to mimic them and build up a bit more of my confidence by generating views on my work. Now I am getting back into just having fun with what I am doing, and relaxing more into what is my style. I am more excited about this batch because it’s more about what I like and what I am inspired to see and less about the feelings I am trying to convey.

I am at the point again, where I want people to be able to take what they want from my images and feel what they want. And I want them to share that with me and help me understand them because at this point I think most people who see my work know me fairly well.

So here we have Yellow. Growing alongside a path that runs underneath a bridge. Shaded by trees and long grass, with a crumbling walkway to distract passerby’s. It was strong and powerful, but only once I lifted my eyes and gave it the attention it deserved. That’s the nature of nature, silent and beautiful, easily overlooked.

Thanks again for sharing this moment with me.

 

POTD: Pink

Purple Flowrers Macro.png

Prior to serving as a missionary, I never wore pink.

For whatever reason, when I came home, I just fell in love with the color. That was really the only reason I took a picture of these flowers.

I definitely like how the flowers look like they are floating above everything. I do remember thinking about how the sun was coming in from behind and was worried about the shadows, but in the end it all worked out.

When it comes to flowers, there is just something quiet about them. Too many words just distract from it.

So please just enjoy today’s image for what its. Beautiful and pink.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/