Quiet Thoughts: Dating

The idea of dating again has been at the front of my mind lately.

I don’t plan on actually dating any time soon, mainly because I am still married. We haven’t actually filed divorce papers and I am not sure when that will actually happen.

It has nothing to do with anything other then the fact that financially I am kinda in a place where it’s either have money for food and bills or for non-essential things like court fees. We can discuss this later, maybe.

Either way, I know I am not ready to date.

Continue reading “Quiet Thoughts: Dating”

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Music inspires unrelated thoughts

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Song lyrics by A Perfect Circle

I’ve shared a bit about the day my former spouse kicked me out.

But I’d like to revisit that day for second.

That morning was like any other we’d had at the time. Tension and distrust was in the air.

I had been contemplating our move to Idaho. I was supposed to attend BYU-Idaho and that meant moving together despite the fact that we couldn’t stand even being in the same room as each other.

Continue reading “Music inspires unrelated thoughts”

QOTD: The Plan

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

There are moments in my life when I dream of wealth and fame. I am sure many of us do.

It’s normal, it’s human.

It was easy for a long time to think that I was only worth what I made. And I was never making enough.

When I joined the Mormon church though, something changed. It became clear that it wasn’t about the things I owned or even the places I went, what really mattered, at least to me, was how much I was helping others.

When I think about my future, it isn’t about building up my photography for fame, or selling signs for wealth.

I am using my talents right now, to build up something that can help me support my family. Help me give my son the things he will need and also help me to hopefully teach him through my actions. In the end though, I am hoping that I can find a way to complete something bigger.

Owning a business opens doors to others. Getting bigger lets you provide work for someone else. Work allows someone to gain skills and those skills inspire them to achieve. Accomplishments inspire people to dream and as they dream they work for their own future and when they work for their own future they find success.

So I want to work on this so that someday I can help someone  do this also; chase their dreams, feeling a hope for the future.

It’s possible, but we gotta be the ones to start it. I gotta be the one to help.

QOTD: You

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last week was filled with a multiple opportunities to be honest about who I am.

It was really inspiring but at the same time really exhausting. The more I felt inspired to continue down this path of blogging, photography, and creating, the more of a mental load I started to take on.

As is normal, part of that load is doubt and fear. It can be draining and last week ended up becoming a week of napping. I mean like deep napping, more like sleeping, sleeping for a long time. It was a moment to kind of stand back and remember that with progress comes a need to reevaluate my situation and make sure to take care of myself and be okay with whatever those needs are.

On what felt like such a high week, I was beyond tired.

And that is who I am. I am a person who gets mentally tired a lot because of how much I think and over think and blah…

Maybe to some that’s a bad thing but for me, right now, learning to be okay with it is so important and I am so glad that I didn’t get mad at myself for taking the time to sleep.

You know, in reality, my life is pretty boring, but I’ve made something of my life and it makes me happy. It makes me want to think about the future and it makes me hopeful.

If that’s wrong well then so be it, but I am going to nap as much as I please and as much as my body needs, then I am going to get back to work and keep surviving.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD: Joy

“We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”

– Helen Keller

A year ago my life fell apart. Six months later, what was left was crushed. In the last six months though, I have slowly pieced together a better life. When I married, it was expected of me to give up on many of my dreams. My hobbies were no longer acceptable and the things I loved were considered evil.

Finding myself again after experiencing all of that was scary. It seemed wrong to be enjoying things that actually made me happy. Over time though, I found what it meant to be happy again and now enjoy so much more of my life.

Diving back into photography has opened me back up to the world and all its beauty. Writing everyday has helped me be expressive about my feelings and honest with myself about how I am feeling. I have set goals for my future and I have created so many amazing things that I truly am surprised with it all.

I thought for a long time that I was happy married. I would tell myself that marriage wasn’t meant to be easy and that it wasn’t about me. But what I didn’t realize was how much of myself I was giving and giving up.

I am thankful though that now I know that my perspective was so terribly wrong and that I do indeed deserve to be happy and to have things that I love to do. I am allowed to love myself and to make decisions for me. This is why I keep doing this. Everyday, I push myself further to keep myself moving forward and looking for the joy in life no matter how hard it gets or how much I worry, because ultimately finding joy is so important.

QOTD: Instinct

May 25, 2017

“There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it.”

– Judith McNaught

If I could do anything different in my life, it would be to follow my instincts more. There was a short period of time when I did and it was the most chaotic and most fulfilling time of my life.

It was right when I started learning about the Mormon church and was told I needed to learn how to follow the Spirit. They told me I would know how the Spirit spook to me and that it would be more of a feeling and not so much an actual voice.

So, for whatever reason, I took this challenge very seriously and anytime I felt that gut feeling of you need to do this, as long as it was a good thing, I did it.

The most interesting story that came from this occurred a little after my baptism. I was out work and potentially going to be out of a home soon (my parents had left to LA and I was in Oregon staying in the house they were selling.)

One morning, I woke up and having no job prospects, I laid there thinking and worrying. I decided to reach for an old bible I had on a shelf and thumbed through it. On one page there was a verse about not being idle and how we need to work hard and keep active. That’s when I felt the need to go out and work in the yard for a bit and just get myself moving.

About five minutes in, this feeling ,of, “you’re done” came over me and as confusing as it was, I headed inside and caught the tail end of a message from my future employer.

Now, its easy to toss this up to coincidence, but its hard to keep saying that. I personally do believe that my instincts helped me to learn in that instance, the way God blesses people through obedience. Would I still have gotten the job if I had just stayed in bed or turned on the TV instead? Who knows? What I know, is my perception of the situation.

I trusted my gut and it taught me something. Instinct is something we can all believe in and interpret how we need to. My instinct has helped me make choices that brought religion into my life, and so now is linked very closely to my spiritual understanding of things. But I can also say that my body can also tell me a lot of things just because that is how it works.

I want to be able to trust myself and part of that is learning to trust my body to tell me things that I can’t see. My body can help me understand dangerous situations before they happen, it can also help me understand what really drives me in life and what excites me. My body can help my mind have the courage to act, but only if I give into it and trust it. Mind and body are meant to work together and it is so important to learn how to do that.

Surviving anything requires trusting yourself, both in your thoughts and in your feelings.


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

QOTD: I Hate Planning

May 23, 2017

“You can’t plow a field simply by turning it over in your mind.”

– Gordon B. Hinckley

Goals, goals, goals, I really dislike setting goals. It has to do with my dislike of planning.

I don’t have a reason why I dislike planning, I just don’t like it. I’m sitting here laughing because it just seems so ridiculous.

I do currently have a planner. I use it everyday, mostly to jot down ideas for my business, things I want to write about and quotes to share. I try to fill in my weekly appointments and schedule times to take care of just normal everyday things, like making dinner.

Getting my business up and running and sustaining it requires me to be really good about planning my days and making sure that I stay on track. So again, I laugh at how much disdain I have for planning.

However, with all that I do and the amount of time it takes to do it all, keeping a mental list of things doesn’t work. Inevitably I forget things and end up having to back track and it eats away at my day.

I always joke that it would be nice to have an extra 8 hours in my day to work just on my business. It would be amazing to have that much time set aside. That doesn’t typically happen though.

After I leave my day job, there are just things that need to be taken care of. When I have my son, I don’t plan to work until after he goes to bed. When I don’t have him, I still usually don’t start work until after 6 pm so I have time to relax and make dinner.

These habits are built around a mental plan that works, however, there is better efficiency when I write down this schedule. Over the past six months, I’ve made it a habit to, at the minimum, to write out my daily schedule at the beginning of the week.

Naturally, from this, when I get ideas, I stared writing them down in my planner. From that habit, it became normal to feel inspired to actually use those ideas and to want to set goals to achieve them. Life started to get a little easier and I felt better.

Planning is hard. Acting is harder. But when we do both and at the very least, attempt to accomplish our dreams, we find fulfillment. Happiness. Joy. Maybe even relief. Being someone who enjoys writing things down, nothing is more relieving then being able to just write out my feelings, thoughts and ideas, clearing my mind of all the junk that builds up.

I am better capable of being honest with myself. That alone breaks so much of the pressure that I feel in life and helps to center me back into reality. Feeling overwhelmed is a daily occurrence for me. I feel stuck a lot of the time, worried that I am chasing the wrong things or will never see “success.” Those are all normal emotions for me and I’ve learned to work through it all. Being able to feel like I have a plan for my day helps make it easier.

I think we all have to find a way to make our lives feel less like a never ending cycle of suck and more pleasant. It takes time and effort, and lots of planning. But planning will get you no where if you don’t actually do.

So set the goal to start somewhere and write down your ideas. Get it out of your head and closer to reality. Baby steps y’all.

Surviving anything is about believing in your own ability to succeed.


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/