QOTD: Now

“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.”

– Albert Camus

My biggest worry in life is wether I will be a good enough dad to my son.

I constantly worry that I am not doing enough to engage him or teach him. Aside from the weekend, I really only see him for 3-4 hours on a workday and the rest of the time he is at the sitters.

Do I show him that I love him enough and do I discipline him in a way that is nurturing and not just authoritative? The other day he was sick and as much as I knew him taking a late nap was good, I was frustrated that it meant he’d be up later and it would be hard for me to get any work done. Then, I was mad because I found it annoying that he was sick. It was a lose, lose situation for me.

In a perfect world, his mother and I would of made things work, but this world isn’t perfect. In a perfect world I’d come home and not have to worry about what wether or not we’d have enough to pay the bills and have food.

I had always wished to give him the best life possible, but the older he gets the more I feel like I’ve let him down.

And then I stop and breathe.

I glance at the pictures I have of him, the smiles he always wears. I think of the hugs and kisses he shares. How tightly he holds on to me at night when he wakes up crying. The cuddles he shares right before he falls asleep. And just all of the little moments we share together.

Trying to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent is hard.

I worry about the future he will have; the questions he will ask and the answers I will have to try and explain. How will his confidence and self worth change the more he learns?

I’ve been trying to teach myself the importance of being hopefully and optimistic. Reminding myself that it’s okay to chase after my own dreams. This is all in the hope of being able to teach him to do and act the same.

We all want better for our own kids and it really does fall back on us to be better ourselves. Little steps, little breathes. He is always watching what we do and if he can see us overcome these difficulties, maybe he’ll see that he can also overcome.

So, I guess, being there for him now, showing him that I love him now, and being strong with him now is the best I can do.

When All Else Fails, Ask For Help

Hey guys,

Lately, I feel like it seems I’ve been bouncing from one project to another, coming up with all these products to sell. I’ve tried to restrict how often I share some of it outside of my business pages on Facebook and Instagram (my personal Instagram is actually a business account now).

There are many reasons why I am trying to sell so much and why I keep coming up with new ideas, but the main reason has to do with the everyday problem of needing money.

I know a lot of people think getting a second job or even finding a new job seems like a good idea but let me break it down for you.

Continue reading “When All Else Fails, Ask For Help”

Father’s Day

IMG_4979.JPGTwo and half hours later, Levi is finally asleep.

What I though would be an easy night turned into a battle of the wills as I tried to get Levi to sleep. He was tired and had a complete meltdown at the park, several times. So we came home and got ready for bed a little earlier then normal.

We brushed teeth, put lotion on, changing into pajamas, read our scriptures, said our prayer, and drank a bottle.

Unfortunately, he seemed more awake then usual, but I still put him in his crib and crept out. I was planning on getting some work done to prepare for the week and just as I was about to, I heard him fussing.

I tried the usual to get him down. Nothing was working so I decided to just let him be and instead we had a couple of cookies and watched Youtube. Sure enough though he was still tired and just needed to lay down.

So off to bed again, this time we laid in my bed and he tossed and turned, flipped and flopped, kicked and groaned, until I finally told him to lay down or I would put him in the crib.

It worked.

I stayed and made sure he was good and asleep before sneaking away again.

I can’t say I don’t get frustrated when he won’t go down. The evenings are vital for all the many projects I am currently working on and Sunday’s are important planning nights. But only having him part time has helped me appreciate these moments for what they are.

Levi has been sleeping in my arms from day one. I remember holding him almost the whole night after he was born. His first big poop was in my arms!

I understood how precious my time was with him and even though I was tired, I enjoyed getting up and feeding him at night. We’d sit on the couch and usually sleep out there for a few hours before I’d realize it and sneak him back to his crib.

I love being a dad and it’s those moments when your child really shows his trust in you that make all the other stuff worth it. Levi knows he is safe with me and at night when he can’t sleep, he reaches out for me and it’s funny to see him try to cuddle up next to me but just can’t seem to get close enough.

So yeah, maybe tonight I spent most of my “work” time battling it out with a tired toddler, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I am so grateful to be able to have that opportunity and to also to be able to recognize how special it is.

Fatherhood isn’t easy, but it is damn well worth it.

QOTD: Creating Yourself

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

– George Bernard Shaw

I love the control this statement gives the individual. “Finding yourself” implies you don’t have the ability to do so with out some sort of journey or search in which you have little to no control of the outcome, length, or course.

“Creating yourself” gives control to you as an individual to dictate who you are entirely. You make the choices, you carry the power, and you decide.

 


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

QOTD: I Hate Planning

May 23, 2017

“You can’t plow a field simply by turning it over in your mind.”

– Gordon B. Hinckley

Goals, goals, goals, I really dislike setting goals. It has to do with my dislike of planning.

I don’t have a reason why I dislike planning, I just don’t like it. I’m sitting here laughing because it just seems so ridiculous.

I do currently have a planner. I use it everyday, mostly to jot down ideas for my business, things I want to write about and quotes to share. I try to fill in my weekly appointments and schedule times to take care of just normal everyday things, like making dinner.

Getting my business up and running and sustaining it requires me to be really good about planning my days and making sure that I stay on track. So again, I laugh at how much disdain I have for planning.

However, with all that I do and the amount of time it takes to do it all, keeping a mental list of things doesn’t work. Inevitably I forget things and end up having to back track and it eats away at my day.

I always joke that it would be nice to have an extra 8 hours in my day to work just on my business. It would be amazing to have that much time set aside. That doesn’t typically happen though.

After I leave my day job, there are just things that need to be taken care of. When I have my son, I don’t plan to work until after he goes to bed. When I don’t have him, I still usually don’t start work until after 6 pm so I have time to relax and make dinner.

These habits are built around a mental plan that works, however, there is better efficiency when I write down this schedule. Over the past six months, I’ve made it a habit to, at the minimum, to write out my daily schedule at the beginning of the week.

Naturally, from this, when I get ideas, I stared writing them down in my planner. From that habit, it became normal to feel inspired to actually use those ideas and to want to set goals to achieve them. Life started to get a little easier and I felt better.

Planning is hard. Acting is harder. But when we do both and at the very least, attempt to accomplish our dreams, we find fulfillment. Happiness. Joy. Maybe even relief. Being someone who enjoys writing things down, nothing is more relieving then being able to just write out my feelings, thoughts and ideas, clearing my mind of all the junk that builds up.

I am better capable of being honest with myself. That alone breaks so much of the pressure that I feel in life and helps to center me back into reality. Feeling overwhelmed is a daily occurrence for me. I feel stuck a lot of the time, worried that I am chasing the wrong things or will never see “success.” Those are all normal emotions for me and I’ve learned to work through it all. Being able to feel like I have a plan for my day helps make it easier.

I think we all have to find a way to make our lives feel less like a never ending cycle of suck and more pleasant. It takes time and effort, and lots of planning. But planning will get you no where if you don’t actually do.

So set the goal to start somewhere and write down your ideas. Get it out of your head and closer to reality. Baby steps y’all.

Surviving anything is about believing in your own ability to succeed.


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

QOTD: Love Your self

May 17, 2017

“We don’t make mistakes, just happy accidents.”

– Bob Ross

What works best about this quote is how it forces you to change your perspective.

I don’t necessarily follow the idea of “Fake it till you make it” because there are a lot of things wrong with it but I do believe that attempting to find the good in every situation is a good thing.

I wil be honest and say that in some situations there may not be any good, but it’s the effort of trying to focus your energy some place that can make the real difference.

Take for example my mood tonight. The first day with my kid this week and I hate it. I put on some music to relax and I started with “I Hope You Suffer” by AFI.

Good song, great song, the best song ever…

But it was long before I was wanting to listen to something a bit lighter. Not because I want to avoid feeling angry or upset, but because I’ve accepted my emotion and naturally changed back into my true self who really just wants to dance. Ha ha.

It didn’t start this way and it doesn’t always work out like this. But getting to a point of honesty with my emotions has allowed me to work through things faster.

As someone who has struggled with depression, I want to also say sometimes you need help also. Counseling and therapy were a big part of me getting here. Techniques I learned there have helped to ease me through a lot. I’ve also done medication. I wasn’t able to find a combination for myself when I had it available but I can tell you it did help. And I know now that it is worth trying.

It is all about honesty and being willing to recognize what you need for you to be able to be okay. Reach out and reach up because you deserve to feel good about who you are.

Surviving anything is learning to love yourself.


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

Quiet Thoughts: Bitterness and Joy

Overheard a conversation today about someone finding out their spouse was expecting. Hearing about babies is so exciting. It’s also Spring and many of my friends are starting to share with everyone new relationships, or are getting engaged, or are getting married.

It’s really amazing to see so many of my friends happy and I feel so happy for them.

Unfortunately, that happiness can get a little jumbled up with bitterness.

I caught myself today, going from one to other and it made me think. Given the situation my life is in, it can be really easy to feel upset. And honestly it happens and sometimes I can’t stop it.

Like I’ve been sharing, hiding your emotions gets you no where.

Another example from today: I was at lunch and a coworker was talking about her pregnancy experience. A second coworker who hasn’t had children commented about how sometimes she feels unsure about having children after hearing those stories. I commented that as a man I really don’t experience pregnancy the way a woman would.

I started talking about how exciting it is and very quickly I found myself starting to cry. Good cry.  But I forced it back and it being work I don’t know if it was the time and place to really let my emotions out but it was nice to feel for a second. Especially that sort of joy with comes from memories of my son and family.

Bitterness is an emotion and like all emotions is only temporary. Life is a series of up and downs and it really isn’t worth the time to try and force yourself into a false emotion.

From my moment of bitterness, and examining what was behind it, I found different emotions. Yeah it still hurts to think about my family falling apart, but I do feel grateful that I get to see my son and that there is a hope for starting over. Was that the plan I had in mind? No, but my new plan isn’t all that bad.

I am still able to find things that bring me a lot of joy and make me feel successful. Negative emotions are natural to have and the less time I spend trying to suppress them, the more time I can spend doing literally anything else.

And there are plenty of things I’d rather be doing.


Shirts available for purchase here: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Check out my Instagram to see what picture I posted today: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: www.facebook.com/husandwifeco