Update: Anger

It’s no secret that I feel angry.

I’d have to say anger is the emotion I am most comfortable with. My default. My go to. It’s become my defense.

Lately, my marriage has been in the forefront of my mind. I caught myself laughing as I thought about some memories, a genuine feeling of joy coming across my face. At the same time, I felt angry that those memories are so tainted.

So far, everyone seems to think forgiveness is my best option. I don’t disagree, but I am just not there yet. I’ve shared a lot about being honest with your emotions. Honestly, I don’t know if anything I say is helpful for anyone but ,for me, being honest with myself is huge.

Continue reading “Update: Anger”

Update: Surviving

Art is all about emotion.

The emotion felt when creating to the emotion felt by the viewer, art makes us feel. For me, my photography is typically inspired by pain.

In high school, I was struggling with depression and photography became a very important outlet for me. Now, I still find myself using my photography as a way to deal with everything that comes with going through a divorce.

Continue reading “Update: Surviving”

QOTD: Now

“Real generosity towards the future lies in giving all to the present.”

– Albert Camus

My biggest worry in life is wether I will be a good enough dad to my son.

I constantly worry that I am not doing enough to engage him or teach him. Aside from the weekend, I really only see him for 3-4 hours on a workday and the rest of the time he is at the sitters.

Do I show him that I love him enough and do I discipline him in a way that is nurturing and not just authoritative? The other day he was sick and as much as I knew him taking a late nap was good, I was frustrated that it meant he’d be up later and it would be hard for me to get any work done. Then, I was mad because I found it annoying that he was sick. It was a lose, lose situation for me.

In a perfect world, his mother and I would of made things work, but this world isn’t perfect. In a perfect world I’d come home and not have to worry about what wether or not we’d have enough to pay the bills and have food.

I had always wished to give him the best life possible, but the older he gets the more I feel like I’ve let him down.

And then I stop and breathe.

I glance at the pictures I have of him, the smiles he always wears. I think of the hugs and kisses he shares. How tightly he holds on to me at night when he wakes up crying. The cuddles he shares right before he falls asleep. And just all of the little moments we share together.

Trying to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect parent is hard.

I worry about the future he will have; the questions he will ask and the answers I will have to try and explain. How will his confidence and self worth change the more he learns?

I’ve been trying to teach myself the importance of being hopefully and optimistic. Reminding myself that it’s okay to chase after my own dreams. This is all in the hope of being able to teach him to do and act the same.

We all want better for our own kids and it really does fall back on us to be better ourselves. Little steps, little breathes. He is always watching what we do and if he can see us overcome these difficulties, maybe he’ll see that he can also overcome.

So, I guess, being there for him now, showing him that I love him now, and being strong with him now is the best I can do.

QOTD: Creating

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett

This was the thought I had when I decided to keep my business going after I separated from my spouse.

I’ve shared that a few times, but finding this actual quote, that is someone else’s words, was a great reminder to me today, of how important it is to keep creating.

It is so easy to feel out of control in life. No matter how good things are, it doesn’t take much to derail us. I wish that wasn’t true but it is.

So how do we change in that split second. Well we redirect the energy, create a new path, find a new goal. We work and we bleed and we cry and smile, fighting for the end that makes us happy.

It’s great.

It wasn’t until after the split that I discovered the term “creator” as it relates to people who create things to sell on Etsy.

It felt silly to say at first, but that is what I am, a creator.

Think about how much power is behind that word. Would you consider yourself a creator? Because you are, you may not realize it but everyday you are creating life. Your life. Your decisions are a part of that process.

So today I am going to ask you, what are you creating?

QOTD: The Plan

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

There are moments in my life when I dream of wealth and fame. I am sure many of us do.

It’s normal, it’s human.

It was easy for a long time to think that I was only worth what I made. And I was never making enough.

When I joined the Mormon church though, something changed. It became clear that it wasn’t about the things I owned or even the places I went, what really mattered, at least to me, was how much I was helping others.

When I think about my future, it isn’t about building up my photography for fame, or selling signs for wealth.

I am using my talents right now, to build up something that can help me support my family. Help me give my son the things he will need and also help me to hopefully teach him through my actions. In the end though, I am hoping that I can find a way to complete something bigger.

Owning a business opens doors to others. Getting bigger lets you provide work for someone else. Work allows someone to gain skills and those skills inspire them to achieve. Accomplishments inspire people to dream and as they dream they work for their own future and when they work for their own future they find success.

So I want to work on this so that someday I can help someone  do this also; chase their dreams, feeling a hope for the future.

It’s possible, but we gotta be the ones to start it. I gotta be the one to help.

When All Else Fails, Ask For Help

Hey guys,

Lately, I feel like it seems I’ve been bouncing from one project to another, coming up with all these products to sell. I’ve tried to restrict how often I share some of it outside of my business pages on Facebook and Instagram (my personal Instagram is actually a business account now).

There are many reasons why I am trying to sell so much and why I keep coming up with new ideas, but the main reason has to do with the everyday problem of needing money.

I know a lot of people think getting a second job or even finding a new job seems like a good idea but let me break it down for you.

Continue reading “When All Else Fails, Ask For Help”

QOTD: Small Joys

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”

– Pearl S Buck

I had to stay home with the kid today. He picked up a little cold last week and he needed another day before heading back to the babysitter. 

As much as it is worrisome to lose a days worth of pay and at the same time not get much done around the house because he needs extra attention, days like today are my favorite. I would love to be able to stay home and work. As hard as it would be to try and run a business and balance parental duties as a single parent, it would be completely worth it. 

Today, I caught myself getting a bit down on myself because it seems almost impossible to do. That future isn’t close and I realize the amount of work needed to get there. But then I remembered to enjoy this moment while I could. Getting to spend an extra full day with Levi is really wonderful. And it’s moments like this that inspire me to do everything else. 

I woke up today not ready for the week. I could of skipped this post and just picked up tomorrow. But instead I made time for Levi and then I made time for work.

Now I’m sitting in the car while he sleeps in the backseat, finally taking a nap, and I’m thinking about how great it is to have this. 

Life may not be perfect, but this is my life and it’s damn beautiful. 
Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: http://www.thehusbandandwifeco.com
Or my Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco
Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalivehttps://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/
I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/