QOTD: Small Joys

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”

– Pearl S Buck

I had to stay home with the kid today. He picked up a little cold last week and he needed another day before heading back to the babysitter. 

As much as it is worrisome to lose a days worth of pay and at the same time not get much done around the house because he needs extra attention, days like today are my favorite. I would love to be able to stay home and work. As hard as it would be to try and run a business and balance parental duties as a single parent, it would be completely worth it. 

Today, I caught myself getting a bit down on myself because it seems almost impossible to do. That future isn’t close and I realize the amount of work needed to get there. But then I remembered to enjoy this moment while I could. Getting to spend an extra full day with Levi is really wonderful. And it’s moments like this that inspire me to do everything else. 

I woke up today not ready for the week. I could of skipped this post and just picked up tomorrow. But instead I made time for Levi and then I made time for work.

Now I’m sitting in the car while he sleeps in the backseat, finally taking a nap, and I’m thinking about how great it is to have this. 

Life may not be perfect, but this is my life and it’s damn beautiful. 
Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: http://www.thehusbandandwifeco.com
Or my Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco
Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalivehttps://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/
I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD: It Goes On

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

– Robert Frost

This is my mantra this week.

I can say life has been getting stressful. Things are starting to get a little real and I have plenty to worry about. But it will go on and things will change and I will survive.

Monday’s are considered by many to be the worst day of the week. (Or so society would have you believe.)

I had a friend though who said he thought Tuesday was the worst day of the week.

I’m not sure I agree with either one. I think most days can suck and most days can also not suck, it just depends on how you see it. The weeks that I am doing good, feeling successful and actually am successful, are the weeks where no matter what I let everyday be it’s best. Maybe that means Wednesday was good nap day or Thursday was rock the crap out of my to-do list day, either way each day is just that, another day and anther chance to be positive.

So today, Monday, lets try to be positive. It’s actually Sunday as I write this and I am already a half hour past my bedtime, but you know what Monday is gonna be bomb because I have my son and I have food in my fridge and I feel good about my future.

What positive thoughts do you have today? Please be sure to write them down and keep them in the front of your mind. Let’s make this week awesome.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

Father’s Day

IMG_4979.JPGTwo and half hours later, Levi is finally asleep.

What I though would be an easy night turned into a battle of the wills as I tried to get Levi to sleep. He was tired and had a complete meltdown at the park, several times. So we came home and got ready for bed a little earlier then normal.

We brushed teeth, put lotion on, changing into pajamas, read our scriptures, said our prayer, and drank a bottle.

Unfortunately, he seemed more awake then usual, but I still put him in his crib and crept out. I was planning on getting some work done to prepare for the week and just as I was about to, I heard him fussing.

I tried the usual to get him down. Nothing was working so I decided to just let him be and instead we had a couple of cookies and watched Youtube. Sure enough though he was still tired and just needed to lay down.

So off to bed again, this time we laid in my bed and he tossed and turned, flipped and flopped, kicked and groaned, until I finally told him to lay down or I would put him in the crib.

It worked.

I stayed and made sure he was good and asleep before sneaking away again.

I can’t say I don’t get frustrated when he won’t go down. The evenings are vital for all the many projects I am currently working on and Sunday’s are important planning nights. But only having him part time has helped me appreciate these moments for what they are.

Levi has been sleeping in my arms from day one. I remember holding him almost the whole night after he was born. His first big poop was in my arms!

I understood how precious my time was with him and even though I was tired, I enjoyed getting up and feeding him at night. We’d sit on the couch and usually sleep out there for a few hours before I’d realize it and sneak him back to his crib.

I love being a dad and it’s those moments when your child really shows his trust in you that make all the other stuff worth it. Levi knows he is safe with me and at night when he can’t sleep, he reaches out for me and it’s funny to see him try to cuddle up next to me but just can’t seem to get close enough.

So yeah, maybe tonight I spent most of my “work” time battling it out with a tired toddler, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I am so grateful to be able to have that opportunity and to also to be able to recognize how special it is.

Fatherhood isn’t easy, but it is damn well worth it.

QOTD: The best day of [My] life

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours–it is an amazing journey–and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”

– Bob Moawad

I love anything that reminds me of the fact that I am solely responsible for my life. As I wrote about yesterday, my initial motivation to succeed after my separation, was purely based on a need to show my former spouse I could survive without them. I realized quickly, thankfully, that this was a terrible motivation.

Everything was just me trying to rub success in their face but, they never saw anything I was doing. It made most of it meaningless. I needed to make this about me and about building the life I wanted solely for the purpose of my own happiness. When I started looking at my anger as a short period of my existence and a naturally occurring step with the end of any relationship, I started to see it less as a part of me and more as something I was moving through.

I saw clearly my role in creating the life that ultimately failed and knew that I could either learn from it or repeat it. Obviously, we want to learn from it and not have to repeat it but there were times where I felt it would just be easier to give and go back.

But I knew my ultimate happiness was not possible in doing what was not working. I was ready to express myself more and I desperately wanted to get back into writing and photography. It was consuming my every thought and I knew it would either break me to keep surprising it or improve my chances of actually taking control of my life by do what I actually wanted to do.

I knew I wanted to not just write about what I was experiencing but how I was surviving it and improving myself through that experience. My photography needed to be me pushing myself to express myself in a really intimate way. Together they needed to be a motivation to be positive and not me boasting or puffing myself up.

I wanted to be genuine, not prideful. And I hope that this helps me become confident in my ability to accept that my life is successful solely on how I choose to view it and how I choose to lead it.

QOTD: Joy

“We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”

– Helen Keller

A year ago my life fell apart. Six months later, what was left was crushed. In the last six months though, I have slowly pieced together a better life. When I married, it was expected of me to give up on many of my dreams. My hobbies were no longer acceptable and the things I loved were considered evil.

Finding myself again after experiencing all of that was scary. It seemed wrong to be enjoying things that actually made me happy. Over time though, I found what it meant to be happy again and now enjoy so much more of my life.

Diving back into photography has opened me back up to the world and all its beauty. Writing everyday has helped me be expressive about my feelings and honest with myself about how I am feeling. I have set goals for my future and I have created so many amazing things that I truly am surprised with it all.

I thought for a long time that I was happy married. I would tell myself that marriage wasn’t meant to be easy and that it wasn’t about me. But what I didn’t realize was how much of myself I was giving and giving up.

I am thankful though that now I know that my perspective was so terribly wrong and that I do indeed deserve to be happy and to have things that I love to do. I am allowed to love myself and to make decisions for me. This is why I keep doing this. Everyday, I push myself further to keep myself moving forward and looking for the joy in life no matter how hard it gets or how much I worry, because ultimately finding joy is so important.

Photo of the Day: Melancholy

White Flowers Macro 2.png

Melancholy.

That is the emotion that comes to mid immediately when I see this image. Sadness with no obvious reason. It is the beauty of the image in my mind that registers this feeling.

The subject of this image, the white flowers, were growing along the walking path at Ed Zorinsky Lake in Omaha, Nebraska. They were growing alone among the tall grass and other foliage. In a sea of green there was this beacon of white.

When I meet people who I can connect to, they feel like this. Normally, the people around me, even those who I consider close friends are blurs around me. I try to develop those friendships but I repeatedly hit this wall. When I do finally find someone with whom I make a real and honest connection it is like falling in love. It’s taken time to recognize the difference in the emotions however and though I don’t have a name for this other feeling, I know it is real.

When you struggle so much to just connect, there is an overwhelming sense of relief when you finally do. However, because it is such a rare occurrence you tend to struggle with trusting it and at times mistake it for something else. You come to fear the beauty of companionship if those experiences don’t progress well.

And so these flowers, standing alone, shining about all around, bring an emotion that is honest, scary, and powerful.

QOTD: Beauty

“Beauty as we feel it is something indescribable; what it is or what it means can never be said.”

– George Santayana

Watching the sunrise through the trees. The cold air found in the shadows of the trees intermixed with bursts of warmth, as the sun peaks around the branches. Glare, almost blinding you every few seconds. Silence. Every breath growing deeper and slower.

This is what I imagine when I read this quote. As my ability to write is about average, that is the closest I can get to describing my thoughts.

When I think about beauty, I also return to that scene. It was something I experienced most days when walking to work in Oregon. A moment that I wished could have been shared with someone. Of course, they may have not felt the same level of peace that I did, it would have been a shared memory, an opportunity for me to make a connection.

It was not a scene I felt comfortable capturing in a photo. It seemed selfish and wrong to try and replicate it. The memory alone is so vivid, it would seem useless to have done so. It is the memory that makes it so special.

I enjoy memories like this one and the way I can be transported back to that moment. It is one of my favorite memories and one I visit often.