QOTD: Small Joys

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”

– Pearl S Buck

I had to stay home with the kid today. He picked up a little cold last week and he needed another day before heading back to the babysitter. 

As much as it is worrisome to lose a days worth of pay and at the same time not get much done around the house because he needs extra attention, days like today are my favorite. I would love to be able to stay home and work. As hard as it would be to try and run a business and balance parental duties as a single parent, it would be completely worth it. 

Today, I caught myself getting a bit down on myself because it seems almost impossible to do. That future isn’t close and I realize the amount of work needed to get there. But then I remembered to enjoy this moment while I could. Getting to spend an extra full day with Levi is really wonderful. And it’s moments like this that inspire me to do everything else. 

I woke up today not ready for the week. I could of skipped this post and just picked up tomorrow. But instead I made time for Levi and then I made time for work.

Now I’m sitting in the car while he sleeps in the backseat, finally taking a nap, and I’m thinking about how great it is to have this. 

Life may not be perfect, but this is my life and it’s damn beautiful. 
Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: http://www.thehusbandandwifeco.com
Or my Etsy shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco
Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalivehttps://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/
I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD: Suffering

“The truth is everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”

– Bob Marley

I am attracted to things that many consider to be dark.

This quote for example, I am sure isn’t as popular with my more positive thinking friends, especially those who have a very different perception of the word suffering.

For me, in this context, suffering does not have as dark of a meaning because I don’t think of this quote as words on the surface, but rather and expression of emotion and feeling. And it has a lot to do with the fact that everyday for me is a battle.

That is my reality, and as messed up as that seems to people, the truth is I don’t usually wake up wanting to be in whatever situation I find myself in, regardless of how good it is.

It isn’t something I have much control over, no, the only thing I control with it is how I react to it. Which is why I write, engage in photography, and try to find the positive. Try being key.

A statement like this is beautiful because in my reality it makes sense. The things I love, the things that bring me happiness also bring about the most anxiety and fear. For whatever reason, being happy, is a struggle for me. Having lived through very hard times of crippling depression, I can tell you, it is very easy to sit around and be okay with being nothing.

The struggle comes when you want to be happy, feel normal, and enjoy the cascade of emotions you see others around you experiencing. You wish you could enjoy going out and seeing the world, but the amount of effort that takes, is damn near exhausting, and sometimes even thinking about it is enough to put you into a 14 hour nap.

So yes, for some of us, finding someone worth suffering for is beautiful. That person is someone who helps us feel happy and it worth the effort it takes to actually be happy. Sometimes its a thing a too. Like writing this post. I’ve spent the whole week thinking about it. Pondering every emotion I had when reading it, trying to find the sole idea that connected them all. It was the only quote that I couldn’t talk about on Sunday, because it was so important that I knew, I just didn’t have the time to work on it and also knew it was important enough to make the time for.

It was important for me to learn how to be okay with expressing more of myself and not hiding behind the idea that something is hard. I listened to a Youtuber this week talk about the idea of people who don’t release products until they are perfect. I used to think that you shouldn’t share things with the world, things you wanting to share with the world, until they are perfect. But the truth was, it was just an excuse to not do anything. Reality is, so much more comes from just doing it and learning from the failures and the mistakes.

Part of my recovery the last few months was realizing that I have failed so much in my life but that those failures don’t define who I am. I am not depression. I am Jorge. I am a dad, a photographer, a blogger, and a creator. I love making things, regardless of the reaction others give to it, because making things is how I express myself. Sometimes it is pretty and sometimes it isn’t. I have successes and I need to recognize them.

I have a dream of someday being able to support my family with the things I create. What has been holding me back this last month, is the very idea that I need to make the perfect thing, that being able to find that perfect equation will be my big break. But that isn’t true. I need to just create and create the crap out of whatever I think and feel. Along the way, perhaps I will make it as an artist, but in the end, what is most important is getting it out of my head, letting it live and letting myself live.

QOTD:Friends

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

Bernard M. Baruch

Starting to be honest with myself, made me feel like a jerk.

I mean, some people do consider me to be a jerk but those are the people that I realized I actually don’t like and they don’t like me so why do I care?

I guess, I share quotes like this over and over again, to remind myself that every step make in the direction that is closer to myself, the more people from my present will be pushed into my past.

My current present though is in need of improvement. Improvement in myself. It isn’t easy to let people go, but if someone really cares about you, and you them, you make changes like this work. They recognize when changes are good and they accept it and you should feel the same.

Life isn’t stagnant. Most the time you won’t even notice when your friends change because it’s natural, you recognize it’s still them and nothing happens because you are okay with it.

We only really notice the bad stuff. So I guess where are the changes needed?


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD:Flaws

“Our flaws are what make us human. If we can accept them as part of who we are, they really don’t even have to be an issue.”

– Ellen Degeneres

It’s Wednesday.

You’ve made it this far and guess what, you are gonna make it the rest of the way.

What ever mistakes you’ve made, or think you’ve made, it’s all good.

That is what this quote means to me. I mean, not a single one of us has any reason to think we are perfect. We just aren’t.

So take today and just celebrate. Smile and laugh about something, anything. You got this.

Really, I think Ellen’s words say enough and I just wanted to share it.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

 

QOTD: You

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last week was filled with a multiple opportunities to be honest about who I am.

It was really inspiring but at the same time really exhausting. The more I felt inspired to continue down this path of blogging, photography, and creating, the more of a mental load I started to take on.

As is normal, part of that load is doubt and fear. It can be draining and last week ended up becoming a week of napping. I mean like deep napping, more like sleeping, sleeping for a long time. It was a moment to kind of stand back and remember that with progress comes a need to reevaluate my situation and make sure to take care of myself and be okay with whatever those needs are.

On what felt like such a high week, I was beyond tired.

And that is who I am. I am a person who gets mentally tired a lot because of how much I think and over think and blah…

Maybe to some that’s a bad thing but for me, right now, learning to be okay with it is so important and I am so glad that I didn’t get mad at myself for taking the time to sleep.

You know, in reality, my life is pretty boring, but I’ve made something of my life and it makes me happy. It makes me want to think about the future and it makes me hopeful.

If that’s wrong well then so be it, but I am going to nap as much as I please and as much as my body needs, then I am going to get back to work and keep surviving.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD: It Goes On

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”

– Robert Frost

This is my mantra this week.

I can say life has been getting stressful. Things are starting to get a little real and I have plenty to worry about. But it will go on and things will change and I will survive.

Monday’s are considered by many to be the worst day of the week. (Or so society would have you believe.)

I had a friend though who said he thought Tuesday was the worst day of the week.

I’m not sure I agree with either one. I think most days can suck and most days can also not suck, it just depends on how you see it. The weeks that I am doing good, feeling successful and actually am successful, are the weeks where no matter what I let everyday be it’s best. Maybe that means Wednesday was good nap day or Thursday was rock the crap out of my to-do list day, either way each day is just that, another day and anther chance to be positive.

So today, Monday, lets try to be positive. It’s actually Sunday as I write this and I am already a half hour past my bedtime, but you know what Monday is gonna be bomb because I have my son and I have food in my fridge and I feel good about my future.

What positive thoughts do you have today? Please be sure to write them down and keep them in the front of your mind. Let’s make this week awesome.


Check out my Instagram to see the quotes and photos I post first: @jorgesiow – https://www.instagram.com/jorgesiow/

Check out my Pattern site to see the things I sell: www.thehusbandandwifeco.com

Or my Etsy shop: www.etsy.com/shop/thehusbandandwifeco

Also I have Facebook: @undefeatedandalive – https://www.facebook.com/undefeateandalive/

I also sell stuff here too: https://survivinganything.threadless.com/

QOTD: The best day of [My] life

“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours–it is an amazing journey–and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”

– Bob Moawad

I love anything that reminds me of the fact that I am solely responsible for my life. As I wrote about yesterday, my initial motivation to succeed after my separation, was purely based on a need to show my former spouse I could survive without them. I realized quickly, thankfully, that this was a terrible motivation.

Everything was just me trying to rub success in their face but, they never saw anything I was doing. It made most of it meaningless. I needed to make this about me and about building the life I wanted solely for the purpose of my own happiness. When I started looking at my anger as a short period of my existence and a naturally occurring step with the end of any relationship, I started to see it less as a part of me and more as something I was moving through.

I saw clearly my role in creating the life that ultimately failed and knew that I could either learn from it or repeat it. Obviously, we want to learn from it and not have to repeat it but there were times where I felt it would just be easier to give and go back.

But I knew my ultimate happiness was not possible in doing what was not working. I was ready to express myself more and I desperately wanted to get back into writing and photography. It was consuming my every thought and I knew it would either break me to keep surprising it or improve my chances of actually taking control of my life by do what I actually wanted to do.

I knew I wanted to not just write about what I was experiencing but how I was surviving it and improving myself through that experience. My photography needed to be me pushing myself to express myself in a really intimate way. Together they needed to be a motivation to be positive and not me boasting or puffing myself up.

I wanted to be genuine, not prideful. And I hope that this helps me become confident in my ability to accept that my life is successful solely on how I choose to view it and how I choose to lead it.