Two and half hours later, Levi is finally asleep.
What I though would be an easy night turned into a battle of the wills as I tried to get Levi to sleep. He was tired and had a complete meltdown at the park, several times. So we came home and got ready for bed a little earlier then normal.
We brushed teeth, put lotion on, changing into pajamas, read our scriptures, said our prayer, and drank a bottle.
Unfortunately, he seemed more awake then usual, but I still put him in his crib and crept out. I was planning on getting some work done to prepare for the week and just as I was about to, I heard him fussing.
I tried the usual to get him down. Nothing was working so I decided to just let him be and instead we had a couple of cookies and watched Youtube. Sure enough though he was still tired and just needed to lay down.
So off to bed again, this time we laid in my bed and he tossed and turned, flipped and flopped, kicked and groaned, until I finally told him to lay down or I would put him in the crib.
I stayed and made sure he was good and asleep before sneaking away again.
I can’t say I don’t get frustrated when he won’t go down. The evenings are vital for all the many projects I am currently working on and Sunday’s are important planning nights. But only having him part time has helped me appreciate these moments for what they are.
Levi has been sleeping in my arms from day one. I remember holding him almost the whole night after he was born. His first big poop was in my arms!
I understood how precious my time was with him and even though I was tired, I enjoyed getting up and feeding him at night. We’d sit on the couch and usually sleep out there for a few hours before I’d realize it and sneak him back to his crib.
I love being a dad and it’s those moments when your child really shows his trust in you that make all the other stuff worth it. Levi knows he is safe with me and at night when he can’t sleep, he reaches out for me and it’s funny to see him try to cuddle up next to me but just can’t seem to get close enough.
So yeah, maybe tonight I spent most of my “work” time battling it out with a tired toddler, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. I am so grateful to be able to have that opportunity and to also to be able to recognize how special it is.
Fatherhood isn’t easy, but it is damn well worth it.