“The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours–it is an amazing journey–and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.”
– Bob Moawad
I love anything that reminds me of the fact that I am solely responsible for my life. As I wrote about yesterday, my initial motivation to succeed after my separation, was purely based on a need to show my former spouse I could survive without them. I realized quickly, thankfully, that this was a terrible motivation.
Everything was just me trying to rub success in their face but, they never saw anything I was doing. It made most of it meaningless. I needed to make this about me and about building the life I wanted solely for the purpose of my own happiness. When I started looking at my anger as a short period of my existence and a naturally occurring step with the end of any relationship, I started to see it less as a part of me and more as something I was moving through.
I saw clearly my role in creating the life that ultimately failed and knew that I could either learn from it or repeat it. Obviously, we want to learn from it and not have to repeat it but there were times where I felt it would just be easier to give and go back.
But I knew my ultimate happiness was not possible in doing what was not working. I was ready to express myself more and I desperately wanted to get back into writing and photography. It was consuming my every thought and I knew it would either break me to keep surprising it or improve my chances of actually taking control of my life by do what I actually wanted to do.
I knew I wanted to not just write about what I was experiencing but how I was surviving it and improving myself through that experience. My photography needed to be me pushing myself to express myself in a really intimate way. Together they needed to be a motivation to be positive and not me boasting or puffing myself up.
I wanted to be genuine, not prideful. And I hope that this helps me become confident in my ability to accept that my life is successful solely on how I choose to view it and how I choose to lead it.