“We would never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”
– Helen Keller
A year ago my life fell apart. Six months later, what was left was crushed. In the last six months though, I have slowly pieced together a better life. When I married, it was expected of me to give up on many of my dreams. My hobbies were no longer acceptable and the things I loved were considered evil.
Finding myself again after experiencing all of that was scary. It seemed wrong to be enjoying things that actually made me happy. Over time though, I found what it meant to be happy again and now enjoy so much more of my life.
Diving back into photography has opened me back up to the world and all its beauty. Writing everyday has helped me be expressive about my feelings and honest with myself about how I am feeling. I have set goals for my future and I have created so many amazing things that I truly am surprised with it all.
I thought for a long time that I was happy married. I would tell myself that marriage wasn’t meant to be easy and that it wasn’t about me. But what I didn’t realize was how much of myself I was giving and giving up.
I am thankful though that now I know that my perspective was so terribly wrong and that I do indeed deserve to be happy and to have things that I love to do. I am allowed to love myself and to make decisions for me. This is why I keep doing this. Everyday, I push myself further to keep myself moving forward and looking for the joy in life no matter how hard it gets or how much I worry, because ultimately finding joy is so important.