“Shoot for the moon, even if you fail, you’ll land among the stars.”
– Cecelia Ahern
In five months I went from single to married and it was quite an adventure. It was fun, exciting, overwhelming, and terrifying. Committing to marry someone so quickly was insane but it felt right and it was something I wanted.
That marriage is effectively over.
It is the reason I started work on this blog and reading this quote this morning reminded me how interesting it has been to see how much better of a person I am now that I am out of that marriage and how much it changed my life and brought me to a place where I can feel confident in following my dreams and feel excited for the future.
Trust me, a lot people in my situation wouldn’t be as outwardly happy as I am. The difference between what I could be doing and what I am doing is how I choose to just not worry about what I can’t control anymore. At first, that was hard. When you separate from anyone whom you have a relationship with, you do get mad when they seem to just move on. I know I did.
It didn’t take long, though, to realize how much I still had. Yeah, many of the people I had gotten close to seemed to push me out, but in doing so I found better friends. The people who actually helped me and showed me what it was like to actually care about people. Which was surprising to me because I thought my “church family” would have played a large role in my recovery, but that did not happen at all.
New opportunities presented themselves at work and in my own pursuit of happiness. I realized more fully who I was as a person, recognizing not only my weaknesses, but for once really seeing where I was strong and capable.
Life is still hard. My finances are a cluster ___. I have no idea how to be single and not seeing my son every day can get really frustrating.
But I have a decent home, food in cupboard, the opportunity to see my son often, great friends, my own car, a successful (in my mind) business, opportunities to explore and grow in my hobbies, drive to live, time to appreciate life, a great job, and a hope for my future.
There are plenty of things in my life that are great still. I overcame this hurdle and I will survive and continue to survive anything that comes my way. As a Mormon, I believe in an after-life, so why am I going to waste my time worrying about things that really don’t matter?
I still have some things to work on but I control that now. I control my life and I accept that, that means I can’t control everything.
Surviving anything means happiness is a choice.
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