Overheard a conversation today about someone finding out their spouse was expecting. Hearing about babies is so exciting. It’s also Spring and many of my friends are starting to share with everyone new relationships, or are getting engaged, or are getting married.
It’s really amazing to see so many of my friends happy and I feel so happy for them.
Unfortunately, that happiness can get a little jumbled up with bitterness.
I caught myself today, going from one to other and it made me think. Given the situation my life is in, it can be really easy to feel upset. And honestly it happens and sometimes I can’t stop it.
Like I’ve been sharing, hiding your emotions gets you no where.
Another example from today: I was at lunch and a coworker was talking about her pregnancy experience. A second coworker who hasn’t had children commented about how sometimes she feels unsure about having children after hearing those stories. I commented that as a man I really don’t experience pregnancy the way a woman would.
I started talking about how exciting it is and very quickly I found myself starting to cry. Good cry. But I forced it back and it being work I don’t know if it was the time and place to really let my emotions out but it was nice to feel for a second. Especially that sort of joy with comes from memories of my son and family.
Bitterness is an emotion and like all emotions is only temporary. Life is a series of up and downs and it really isn’t worth the time to try and force yourself into a false emotion.
From my moment of bitterness, and examining what was behind it, I found different emotions. Yeah it still hurts to think about my family falling apart, but I do feel grateful that I get to see my son and that there is a hope for starting over. Was that the plan I had in mind? No, but my new plan isn’t all that bad.
I am still able to find things that bring me a lot of joy and make me feel successful. Negative emotions are natural to have and the less time I spend trying to suppress them, the more time I can spend doing literally anything else.
And there are plenty of things I’d rather be doing.
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