Babies, Tears, and Cuddles

Being the parent I feel most comfortable being is important.


Before my wife and I separated, we were using the “cry it out” method with my son.

I am going to be honest, it was never my favorite method. It caused me to stress over his safety and well being. When he cried he would get very hot and sweaty and it worried me that he was passing out more from physical over exertion then from being tired.

Now, I want to be clear, now that we are separated, I don’t know what methods my ex-wife is using with my son, mainly because communication with her all but nonexistent. But I have not heard of any problems.

When I moved into my own place, I found it better for both my sanity and his safety to just pick him up when he cried. I knew he was in a new place and I was severely stressed and tired and having to try and wait out him crying wasn’t working.

I quickly realized that it was faster and easier for him to fall asleep if I held him for a few seconds and then placed him back down. Usually it took only one trip into the room and he was fine. Some nights are harder then others. And sometimes I do still let him cry it out if I feel overwhelmed.

Basically, I found what worked best for us and then adjusted. As a parent I have that right. I shouldn’t feel scared that other parents will judge me for my decisions because they aren’t the parent of my child.

I feel like I’ve created a stronger bond with my son by showing him I am going to be there if he cries. This is a benefit because when I need to get ready in the mornings, I know I can leave him in the crib and he will be fine. If he needs something he lets me know and he knows his needs will be met. At least I hope that is what he is learning.

This all fits into just trying to survive in our new situation. For the most part, he is parented similar between our homes. But there are going to be differences and thats okay. He will learn that dad does things differently then mom and he will build that bond individually with both of us.

I am glad, I learned to be okay with doing things the way I need to in my home. It has made it so much easier to be a single parent. We have a schedule and he follows it to an exactness. The only real issue is wake up time. Sometimes we make it all the way to 6:30 and sometimes its 4. But for the most part it works out.

Thats my “surviving anything” moment of the day.

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